Look Into My Eyes - Ms Koya [MNTG]

 

Pull me aside and look into my eyes
What do you see?
Nothing but dark smoldering beauty, you say?
Do you not see the pain, the anguish embedded in them?
Do you not see the grief hidden behind my eyelashes?
Do you not see the tales untold?
Do you not see the fake smiles stored up and ready to spring up at will in my pupils?
Do you not see the hope, faith, hurt, determination, fears, love, potentials, insecurities, strengths, weaknesses?
Do you not see what makes me, me?
Me, the last Tayo Orekoya daughter.
Me, the frail prematurely birthed baby.
Me, the convulsing little girl, physically seeing what others couldn't see, the fear of losing me burned into my parents' minds.
Me, the fear in my young heart and mind holding me captive; after another turbulent night filled with fitful sleep, monsters and ghouls.
Me, the worshipful kid sister of her brother.
Me, the rebellious deviant soul of a teenager.
Me, the kind hearted, smart, adorable, young woman I want to become.
Me, my soul's penury, oblivion and redemption.
Me, the delicate shards called my heart, broken into smitherens, and scattered in different directions.
Me, the protective love I have for my best friend, my sister.
Me, the pride and love in my father's eyes, as I excel in various spheres of my life, from crayons to a first-class.
Me, the pain and love in my mother's eyes as she struggles to make me a better person.
Me, the spawn of greatness, the shoes people have to fill.
Me, the music that proceeds into my ears and out of my mouth; the melodious tunes serenading and waltzing with my sorrows.
Me, the dark angry persona, afraid of attachment and commitment, lost and without emotions.
Me, the joy of many generations.
Me, the tears I shed for the loss of my grandmother; the grief and fear hidden in secret cupboards and shadows.
Me, the curious little girl, now the assertive young woman.
Me, my wild and free imagination, running loose.
Me, the blessed to be a blessing.
Me, my past, my present, my future.
Me, who I am, who I'm not, who I want to be.
Me, God's little treasure.
Now, look into my eyes.
What do you see?