I’m super sorry, diary. Fell ill for over a week, so I couldn’t update you on what happened at Tito's. Guess who made me indisposed? You guessed right. That two-faced low-life blaggard Tito. I've been down in the dumps; sobbing day and night. Even Daddy had to intervene, and show his sympathy. I'm just an emotional wreck *Sigh. Things will be better; they just have to.
So what happened, yeah...I went to his house in an attempt to accomplish my mission of getting him back. So there I was, knocking his gate, hoping to see him; only for his security guard to come out and tell me that he went out and will be back soon. As a 'lover girl', I decided to wait...got tired and decided to take a leisurely walk. I was strolling around his estate (I'm quite familiar with it), and I saw Tito...with a girl walking down the street almost past me. They seemed engrossed with whatever they were discussing; holding hands, little smiles, laughs and kisses here and there.
I watched, heartbroken...if that wasn't an understatement in itself. I quickly hid behind some bushes, tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes, as I cried there silently. I made a little sound, and they turned in unison. I fumbled around on the floor frantically, pretending to search for my earring. When I 'found it', I stood up, hurriedly dashing my hand across my face to remove the tears.
Tito shouted 'Anne, hi! What are you doing here?'
I walked briskly down the road, to say hi. I prepared the biggest - and most artificial - smile I could muster. I looked straight at Tito, as my pointed gaze caused him to hang his head with probably guilt and/or shame. I also suspected that he could see past my facade, and into my pieces of a soul. I told him, in reply to his previous question "I came to get my sweater from your house; I left it here last week. His girl, Toju, or something, looked somewhat victorious, and worse still, full of pity....for me.
It was super awkward, on top of everything else.
I couldn't stay there, and around them any longer. "Well, excuse me, I best be on my way now"...like I really had anywhere else to go. I continued my miserable hurried walk down the street, my tear-blurred vision all I had for guidance. I somehow managed to remain in denial, however, till I got home. For a while, after the initial shock and sob session, I was just dry-eyed; heart shattering with tears not shed.
Soon, however, one huge, soulful sob racked through my body, and memories came flooding in. I've been sobbing day in and out since then. I mean, here I am, broken beyond redemption. Soon, before I know it, I'll be a 58 year old spinster, with no man to call my own. Even Daddy had to show his sympathy; he had never seen me in such pain.
Okay I know I'm being a tad melodramatic and over-the-top, it can't be helped. I’m hurt, deeply hurt. I'd very much prefer to sleep and never wake up. Now I understand, he broke up with me to be with her and that means he probably had been cheating on me even when we were together. I suspected it at some point, but I didn't want to confront him, love-sick desperado puppy I am. Uggh, I hate him, a lot...or rather, I hate the fact that even after everything he has done to be undeserving, I still love him. Boys are monsters, they suck. I feel useless and worthless. I’m just going to stay alone for a while and drown in my sorrow. My first and only love broke my heart.
...You know what, Diary, it's pretty pointless pouring out my sob stories here. It won't do anything for me. I'm not happy, and it's difficult to pretend to be. Ergo, I have to bid you goodbye. This diary was mostly meant to be about Tito, me, and our future; but as it is, that's out of the way.
Sayonara.
-Anne.
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