...But I Loved You - Ms. Koya [MNTG]

...But I loved you, even when you hurt me.
...Even when you cast me out of your world, treating me like a leper.
...When you tore at my heart, shattering and smashing every last piece.
...When you hit my body, almost as surely as you hit my mind.
...When you practically raped me, drunkenly; blinded to my tears and heart wrenching screams.
...When you made me abort my babies; making me wallow in my guilt and shame.
...When I was too far gone, and my baby clung to my womb; and you didn't want him.
...When we had to get married, and I could see the cold spite in your eyes.
...When I would think and hope that good begets good, and you'd someday love me the way I loved you.
...When Mother worried over me, like I was under a spell.
...When my friends said to leave you, and not look back.
...When you battered and shattered me, giving me blows, and calling me names; accusing me of things I knew nothing of.
...When you killed my insides, destroying all I had struggled to build.
...When you defaced me, watched me morph into a shadow of myself, obliterating all I had known to be sacred and sane.
...When you would not eat my food.
...When you would bring strange women into our home and have them sleep in our bed, my bed.
...When you would take 'business trips' and your boss would say you were at work.
...When you would hurt me at every given opportunity.
...When you would not love our baby boy, although he idolized you.
...When our only crime was loving you.

...But I didn't love you
...When while 'punishing me for my sins', as you called it one day, you hit my son.
...When I saw my baby tumble down the staircase
...When, in that split second, everything changed.
...When my baby suffered and writhed on the hospital bed, and I sat clutching his feeble little hand tightly, night and day.
...When one day, my baby never opened his eyes again, and Death took him in her cold grip.
...When I mourned him months on end.
...When you mended your ways.
...When you came crawling back to me, sober and sorry.
...When you fell in love with me all over again and needed me back.
...When it was too late.

- Ms. Koya