Poor Guys: Dating Material?

Hello Readers! This here is a special post. The topic is explicit enough. We gathered four girls to state their opinions on the topic. When you're done reading, please feel free to comment. That'll serve as your opinion. Bless!

- We have : Bunmi : @Orekelewaa ; Karen : @Karyn_AE ; Olamide Abdul ;  Yvonne - @why_vee

BUNMI

In putting together this article, I got the following responses to the question ' would you date a poor man?' A few people said : "I don't care if I get called a gold digger, I can not date someone that earns less than I do." Also "I can boldly say that I can not date a poor man. Especially if you are high maintenance, you want a guy that's going to fund your lavish lifestyle".
I'm my opinion though, there really is no guarantee in dating someone that earns more than you do "a not poor man". There's also the case of Rich partners that are tight fisted. That he earns more than you do
doesn't mean you must or will benefit anything. Can I date a poor man? Maybe. Can I marry one that doesn't have potential? I don't think so. What I do know undoubtedly though, is that no situation is permanent. That he doesn't have today doesn't mean he wouldn't have tomorrow. And vice versa. Be grateful for little and you'll be rewarded with more.

KARYN

Would I ever date a poor guy? Sure, why not?

As a girl, if you’re like 16, 17, 18 and above, I don’t see why you should be getting into a relationship with a guy because of money. I mean, you have like parents don’t you? That’s why they’re there. To get you the things you need and occasionally the things you want. But your boyfriend shouldn't become your “daddy”.

I don’t understand why some girls do that. Like every time you need something you go to meet your boyfriend. Half the time the things girls go to meet boys for are ridiculous things that they know they wouldn't get from their parents.

It almost annoys me even. Like the way some girls go on about how they “need” rich boyfriends. They just seem like gold diggers. All they want to do is just use the boys.

Sure it’s nice to have someone to spoil you occasionally, but not like all the time. I don’t know, it just seems wrong. Anything I’d accept from boyfriend has to be something cute, and of sentimental value. Like a ring, or a necklace or something of that sort. Or lovely presents for my birthday or Valentine’s day. Simple. Not that when I need credit, I’ll start begging my boyfriend for it. Something that I can get on my own.Any guy I’m with now, I don’t plan on having a future with them, to be honest. I can date a poor guy, but I don’t think I can marry one. Mainly because I need to be with someone who is as financially independent as I plan to be. I definitely don’t want to be the wife that goes to her husband for every single thing she needs, but I also don’t want to be the one spending my money on everything that we’d need. That’s what husbands are for (other than love, baby-making & blah blah..). If I’m now the breadwinner of the house, God forbid, something should happen to me, what would my poor husband now do? When he can’t pay the rent or school fees or anything because he is poor. No, I can’t just do that.

That’s it though. But then, maybe my mind will change if I “fall in love”.

OLAMIDE ABDUL

Personally I can be that stupid to date a poor guy.... Apparently I think I fall under those girls they refer to as 'blind lovers' (well not that blind sha lemme just say...wears glasses)... It depends on his level of poor though... If I see he struggles to fend for himself and he's working hard to make a living then it's okay (no be say u poor u now get bad attitude join ooo ).... He's just my boyfriend he's just there for sometime.... But to marry a poor man ? After the whole money spent on my education and all that's been invested in my life.. Ko Jo ! My love no blind reach that level yet.

YVONNE

There are always flip sides to situations; this is why we have Hot or Cold, Black or White, Male or Female, Rich or Poor etc. A major talking point in life and relationships is the question of being with a Rich or Poor guy. Yay or Nay?

I strongly doubt that there’s anyone who grows up and decides “I want to spend the rest of my life with a Poor man.” If such a person exists, it won’t be a bad idea to register them at some deliverance center.

The word “Poor and Rich” are quite vague and it’s kinda necessary to define them as I’d want you to read this from my point of view. I’m going to try to be as realistic as possible so do bear with me on this. I don’t think I’m going to sugar coat and tell you stuff that I don’t believe.

So Yeah, a rich guy doesn’t have to be a Dangote because that’s an extreme high. A rich guy is the dude who has very good financial standing with consistent income. One who doesn’t worry much about his account balance and can conveniently handle his needs, wants and those of others without breaking a sweat.

The poor dude as referred to in this post is the one who has no source of income, no plans to get a source of income and basically HAS NO MONEY! Please, let’s keep potential away from this definition, shall we? Thank you.

So, I’m going to paint two scenarios and I want you to choose which you’d want to be in:

Scenario 1

Dude: “Babe, are you ready yet? What’s taking you so long?”

You: “Coming Deji…uhm, did you call the cab guy yet?”

Dude: “But why are you acting like you don’t know. Please hurry, We’re taking the bus.”

You: “It’s our first anniversary Deji, could we not take a cab on this our ‘once a year’ date at least?”

Scenario 2:

Dude: “I’ll pick you at 8”

You: “Ok Baby, I’ll be ready”

Don’t even front. I don’t want to generalize but Comfort is almost all girls’ desire. Who wants to start thinking of jumping off buses in heels because the dude cannot afford a cab. I’m not saying buses aren’t cool, I enter them WELL. I’m sure you get the idea.

Now, would I date a poor guy?

No.

Simple.

Some girls would say yes, but in real life won’t. Close your eyes and think about it for a second. Please, don’t go all “I have my own money, it’s not a problem” Maybe you do have your money, maybe you are all Team Independent and all but having to do everything for yourself and your man surely gets tiring at some point. Don’t it?

Don’t answer that.

Money for me is a very delicate topic. I had always been of the opinion that couples shouldn’t talk about money, cos I felt all it did was lead to fights, but how wrong I was. You cannot have a great relationship until you can communicate and agree about money. Now what happens when there is no money to even talk about? No Communication. And what happens when Communication ceases? The relationship dies.

It’s generally said that “Money Talks” and so in its absence, everyone hushes up. Money answers all questions and when it is a stranger, lots of quarrels will definitely ensue. Both parties need to be involved in the finances. (Yes, I said both) Guys, not all girls live to “chop your money” -_-

If we are to look at this biblically and generally, the man is the head and the woman was made to ‘help’ him. Now what does she help you with if you have nothing you’re doing? I don’t want to believe that men feel complete when they can’t handle responsibility; Men ought to strive to succeed especially at this time of youth where energy still abounds. When both of you can share the financial burden, things get easier and it actually begins to feel like a tag-team, a Partnership; which is how relationships ought to be.

So yea, whether or not I have my own money, there’s definitely something about being with someone that can hold his own as well, provide things like security, a pretty good life and affection. I have had my fair share of the other side of being with a poor guy; Buying my own birthday gift and having people believe my boo got it for me, just so his ego remained intact…

How long can you keep at it really?

So again I say

No.

I wouldn’t date a poor man.

Although we are living in a material world, I believe a poor man can still impress a girl but can he keep her tho? Would she stay?

Money can’t buy my love. But the lack of it can most definitely tear it apart.

If we’re going to be honest, remove emotions from financial talk. Love can’t be the only thing he brings to the table. He needs to show me he has a lot to offer- generosity, thoughtfulness, chivalry…this will sweep me off my feet. Yes, but I also need to know he can handle responsibilty. You may talk about the fact that he has potential but that in itself is really hard to find these days and how do you even know who has potential and who doesn’t? *sigh*

This is a common complication in love scenes.

But my answer remains the same.

No.

I wouldn’t date a poor man.

• What do you say, reader?